Adoption Journal #16

Well, we are making some progress in our adoption efforts. This past Saturday we attended the first of two final adoption trainings through the Orange County Kinship Center in Santa Ana, Ca. The class was good, as far as classes go, and it served to reinvigorate our waiting experience. For many families child-rearing carries many physiological traits and changes long before the arrival of the child. As a woman's body changes in response to the child she is carrying, those around her react to reinforce this. People ask to touch the mother-to-be's "tummy" or see the latest ultrasound pictures. Men and family react to this change as well. Complete strangers approach the mother and ask "how many months?" or "do you know if it's a boy or girl?" questions that constantly serve as a means focusing the attention on the expected arrival. All of this serves a prepatory aid for parenthood.In adoption, many of these experiences are do not arrive naturally. People do not see a pregnant woman and so no one asks "how many months?" Food cravings don't change and life does not gradually crescendo to a happy arrival. Rather, months and months of waiting are followed by a few days of prep before the great arrival. This being the case, Mandy and I have been tryign to "nest" as well as we can. We headed over to Baby's-R-Us and picked out some furniture that could accomodate a boy or girl between the ages of 0-5 (a task parents of newborns do not need to worry about). Then we headed over to Lowe's to pick out some paint for our "gender neutral" room. (You'd be surprised how difficult it is to find a color that can accomodate boys and girls, especially when you have no idea what you are expecting, or what age). I think this process has been beneficial for both Mandy and I, but especially Mandy as the "Nesting" serves to focus her natural maternal tendencies.This has been a good weekend in regards to our process. Next Saturday we get our 1st Aid and CPR with the OC Red Cross, then we'll do the second class at the Kinship Cetner on February 23rd and hopefully be licensed soon after. We will have to turn in our foster care license application on February 13 (apparently it takes 3 hours to turn in the application, which is almost identical to the adoption application we spent 3 hours turning in sometime in April or May).So things are moving forward. Slowly, but crawling still gets you where you need to be if not immediately.

Juno (2007)

The other night my wife and I finally had the chance to see the surprise indie hit Juno. The movie stars Ellen Page (X-men 3) as the titular character who finds herself pregnant within the opening moments of the movie. Unlike other movies about adoption or teen pregnancy this movie tries to avoid romanticizing the situation, and more or less succeeds. Juno confides in a friend (and the baby's father) that she has decided to get an abortion. However, her experience at the abortion clinic is by no means positive. She is greeted outside the clinic by a friend from school who happens to be picketing. After an awkward discussion on school assignments, Juno enters the clinic. Once in the clinic the cold indifference of the receptionist and other distractions lead Juno to leave the clinic and make the decision to keep the baby. The rest of the movie follows Juno in her attempts to locate an adoptive family (played by Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman) and continue her pregnancy.While the movie does not advocate a traditional "pro-life" message it still promotes life. Sure, Juno, her best friend and her step-mother all put abortion on the table as a realistic option; however, Juno chooses not to go through with it in large part because she heard that the child inside her has fingernails. Since Juno's step-mother works in a beauty salon this resonates with Juno in a powerful way. The very fact that Juno chooses a family in which to offer life to, regardless of prior beliefs about "choice" speaks (whether it wants to or not) to the inherent value and pull that life can have on a person.This movie does not show abortion as romantic and legitimate (though the characters are not opposed to it). However, while adoption is not romanticized it is legitimized as real and meaningful. For me, any movie that can get away without being preachy, but still show the strengths of adoption (while not ignoring the struggles and frustrations of the situation) is well worth seeing, especially when it is done as well as Juno.