Well, we have moved a little closer to our child this week. Despite the reluctance on our licensing social worker's part, our home was approved (pool and all). After reviewing the pictures she took and her report on our home, our SW's supervisor approved our home without conditions. Since this is happy news I won't dwell on the fact that our SW's primary guiding principle was "I'm not responsible." Now we are waiting for our adoption social worker to finish up her part so that referrals can be made to the social workers of potential children (yes, I know there are a lot of social workers involved). So, we are just waiting. Mandy is making sure to call our adoption social worker regularly so that she doesn't forget about us, which county social workers are apt to do. So, all in all we are excited and anticipating.
We also made another change that anticipates our child-to-be. Yesterday Mandy and I got rid of my little Chevy Cobalt and bought the ultimate family driving symbol. . . The Minivan.
Things are moving forward and we are excited. Thank you for coming along this road with us.
FYI: When our child is placed (hopefully in the next couple of months) he/she will be placed as a foster child. This means that I am prevented from giving a lot of details (name, history, family background, etc) until the adoption is completed. So, bear with us as we will do our best to provide what we can.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Maria Sue Chapman 2003-2008
It seems that those involved in adoption/foster care are a close knit group. We share in our experiences both good and bad. There is a group of adopting/post adopt families that I am in regular contact with. When anyone has a placement success or finally gets to meet their forever child, their is a shared rejoicing. However, beyond those tight knit groups in church and community support/advocacy groups it seems that anyone connected with adoption seems to draw those involved together.
For many individual in the Christian (and into the non-Christian) communities, Steven Curtis Chapman has been a focal point, a spokesman and a standard bear, if you will, for those with a heart for God's children. Through his songwriting he has connected his personal experiences and passions to those of us needing the encouragement. Through his foundation Shaohannah's Hope (www.shaohannahshope.org) he has made a way for forever families to afford the often out-of-reach price of adoption. While many have experienced the joys and rejoiced along with the Chapmans as they have adopted several children from China, it is with heavy hearts that we grieve with them as well. Yesterday afternoon, the Chapman family lost their daughter Maria Sue in a tragic family accident. Maria was the youngest of the Chapman's children (she turned 5 years old earlier this month) and was one of three adopted girls from China. Pictures and videos posted on the web display a child with a beautiful smile and a joyful spirit. For those who listen to Christian radio you might be able to imagine her in the opening lines of Chapman's song, "Cinderella." It is a song that has new and poignant meaning in light of recent events. She will be missed.
I do not know if it is our place to question the motives of God in His heavens, perhaps it is. I do know that it is our place to pray, to support, to grieve, to love and to hope. Our thoughts and prayers go to the entire Chapman family and Franklin, TN community.
Those who would like to learn more please visit: www.stevencurtischapman.com
For many individual in the Christian (and into the non-Christian) communities, Steven Curtis Chapman has been a focal point, a spokesman and a standard bear, if you will, for those with a heart for God's children. Through his songwriting he has connected his personal experiences and passions to those of us needing the encouragement. Through his foundation Shaohannah's Hope (www.shaohannahshope.org) he has made a way for forever families to afford the often out-of-reach price of adoption. While many have experienced the joys and rejoiced along with the Chapmans as they have adopted several children from China, it is with heavy hearts that we grieve with them as well. Yesterday afternoon, the Chapman family lost their daughter Maria Sue in a tragic family accident. Maria was the youngest of the Chapman's children (she turned 5 years old earlier this month) and was one of three adopted girls from China. Pictures and videos posted on the web display a child with a beautiful smile and a joyful spirit. For those who listen to Christian radio you might be able to imagine her in the opening lines of Chapman's song, "Cinderella." It is a song that has new and poignant meaning in light of recent events. She will be missed.
I do not know if it is our place to question the motives of God in His heavens, perhaps it is. I do know that it is our place to pray, to support, to grieve, to love and to hope. Our thoughts and prayers go to the entire Chapman family and Franklin, TN community.
Those who would like to learn more please visit: www.stevencurtischapman.com
Monday, May 12, 2008
Ode to a Pool (Adoption Journal #21)
So, we had what was to be our last home licensing appointment this Friday. The inspection was going well for the most part. We graciously answered the same questions we had been asked several times before. We answered questions, we previously had answered on applications (to the point of hand cramps), as if they were brand new to us. Our licensing worker checked our home and found it, as it should be. She had no comments or things we needed to change. At this point Mandy and I are feeling pretty good. Our social worker tells us that all she needs to do at this point is look at the apartment complex grounds. So, we lead her down the stairs toward the center of the apartment complex and the complex offices. About 150 yards from our door (down the stairs, down the sidewalk across the parking lot) there is a little creek about two-feet wide and four inches deep. This water caused our tour to pause. Our social worker pulled out her camera and took pictures of this mighty Mississippi-like waterway. I though perhaps she was waiting for Huck and Jim to float by on a makeshift raft. None of that happened, so a picture was all she got.
About twenty yards past the creek is the community pool. So, we bravely forded the creek and headed for the pool. A six-foot high fence surrounds the pool with locked gates as four different points. The gates all require key-entry and are spring loaded to keep them from staying open. Yet, there was a problem. During office hours, the door to the office building is unlocked. This worried our social worker, who once again bravely pulled out her trusty camera. She was worried that our child (most likely 6-18mos) would undo the deadbolt in our apartment (which is always locked when we are home), walk down the stairs, down the sidewalk, across the parking lot, open the office door, walk down the hallway, open the back door and fall into the pool. The creek, evidently, wasn’t a concern to our social worker after she saw the great danger of the pool.
Before I go any further, I should make clear that I understand the dangers that water poses to children. I am not making light of this very real danger and reality for many parents and caregivers. I also appreciate the need for county social workers to address potential dangers and safety issues. This is a tragic and real issues that licensing workers should look at and should be concerned about.
That being said, sometimes there is often a CYA mentality when social workers look to grant a license. For instance, the pool is four times as far from our apartment as the street. The pool requires our infant to go through two heavy doors and past four apartment buildings, whereas the street requires nothing of that. Since our social worker wasn’t ready to place a child in such a "risky situation", she did not grant our license Friday. She has told us that she will discuss the situation with her supervisor and ask that the supervisor make a decision on whether or not we should be granted a license. Hopefully we have some resolution on this by next week.
It disappoints me that our social worker refused to grant our license. She had the power and authority to grant our license; however, because her first thought is to insulate herself from legal recrimination and not to promote the placement of a child with a qualified family, she did not grant our license. This is frustrating, but we are hopeful that when our social worker and her supervisor meet next week that we will have our license and be ready to move forward on placement.
To address my frustration I wrote a poem about the pool that Mandy and I have never used in six plus years and something that we have absolutely zero control over. I’ll let you know what turns out next week.
My freakin' pool
Whether the weather is hot, warm or cool
I have never swam in my freakin’ pool
Kids walk by after leaving school
Yet they don’t swim in my freakin’ pool
I have lived here for six seasons of Yule
Still I have yet to swim in my freakin’ pool
So this denial of my home is oh so cruel
And it is all because of my freakin’ pool
About twenty yards past the creek is the community pool. So, we bravely forded the creek and headed for the pool. A six-foot high fence surrounds the pool with locked gates as four different points. The gates all require key-entry and are spring loaded to keep them from staying open. Yet, there was a problem. During office hours, the door to the office building is unlocked. This worried our social worker, who once again bravely pulled out her trusty camera. She was worried that our child (most likely 6-18mos) would undo the deadbolt in our apartment (which is always locked when we are home), walk down the stairs, down the sidewalk, across the parking lot, open the office door, walk down the hallway, open the back door and fall into the pool. The creek, evidently, wasn’t a concern to our social worker after she saw the great danger of the pool.
Before I go any further, I should make clear that I understand the dangers that water poses to children. I am not making light of this very real danger and reality for many parents and caregivers. I also appreciate the need for county social workers to address potential dangers and safety issues. This is a tragic and real issues that licensing workers should look at and should be concerned about.
That being said, sometimes there is often a CYA mentality when social workers look to grant a license. For instance, the pool is four times as far from our apartment as the street. The pool requires our infant to go through two heavy doors and past four apartment buildings, whereas the street requires nothing of that. Since our social worker wasn’t ready to place a child in such a "risky situation", she did not grant our license Friday. She has told us that she will discuss the situation with her supervisor and ask that the supervisor make a decision on whether or not we should be granted a license. Hopefully we have some resolution on this by next week.
It disappoints me that our social worker refused to grant our license. She had the power and authority to grant our license; however, because her first thought is to insulate herself from legal recrimination and not to promote the placement of a child with a qualified family, she did not grant our license. This is frustrating, but we are hopeful that when our social worker and her supervisor meet next week that we will have our license and be ready to move forward on placement.
To address my frustration I wrote a poem about the pool that Mandy and I have never used in six plus years and something that we have absolutely zero control over. I’ll let you know what turns out next week.
My freakin' pool
Whether the weather is hot, warm or cool
I have never swam in my freakin’ pool
Kids walk by after leaving school
Yet they don’t swim in my freakin’ pool
I have lived here for six seasons of Yule
Still I have yet to swim in my freakin’ pool
So this denial of my home is oh so cruel
And it is all because of my freakin’ pool
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